well well well.. decided to have a new skin. It's been awhile once again, i dont know how many times I shall repeat this but I guess I just have nothing to post about anymore well at least not as much. I just lost the passion in blogging about my day. First, it might cause controversial issues even if its not intended to anyone. And the fact that facebook is such an addict, I guess I pretty much update most of my things there. Since I've decided to change the layout, might as well drop by a few words.

Let's see.. Ive started 2nd semester 1st year, and now its ending in less than 2 months. Lots of things happened, and I've realized its always the 2nd semester I slack. I really slacked a lot this year. First, I moved on to an entire different life than I have before. why would i say that, it is because I see the change in me. Eversince I began to face my fear by not hiding in someone's shell, things pretty much became more challenging to me. After all, I chose the path and eventually I would have to get out of this shell. Now that I'm out here, I guess its expected things are not going to be as smooth and at the same time I'm happy for that as I'm able to discover a whole new me. The way I pick friends now, the way I became care less to those that don't deserve my treat. Another thing is, I became lazier as I've said I slacked. Lazier throughout and is it too late to start picking myself up now? Cos I really am picking myself up now, though I still do miss classes I'm more motivated than how I was being a slacker few weeks ago. Yes, this is very recent. I've decided to not sink in. It keeps me busy and less activities too. I would prefer them that way as I've had too much, too much that I became bored of clubbing and drinking? I dont know, its just this moment where I just wanna rest it all.

Apart from that, monday was a dread. I worked during my holidays, starting wednesday. Knowing that the bf is leaving to sg, I work and accompany him at the same time. He's not affecting me as he usually goes online to play game =.=// accept the fact that, the last few days I was completely emotional. Emotional to the fact that he's leaving to sg and we'll contact lesser. He's going to be busy focusing on his work. Even if this is temporary, just that few days it took me sometime to know things won't be as bad for as long as he feels the same. Yes, the fact that I have this insecurities in me is because we just started. It's normal, isn't it so? I mean, I do trust him maybe not enough? That's what's been going on in my mind.

Yet, I was wrong. Today it self I felt better. Better that we're both focusing on work. I don't know how am I to explain this. I'm weird. Yes some people out there love to judge me by being dramatic well i dont really care. You live ur life. I'm not gonna fuss about who those people are. Meh, things are going good so far.

Today, he left.

I'm still running the same life believing in us and the people I treasure. Got up around 2pm, and went to San Churros and have my Spanish Chai Latte. Had dinner with wai khin and john plus a little groceries shopping, well not really john just wanted to get his soyabean made in thailand -.- .. haha. Went back to my apartment and join them watch comedy shows. If im not mistaken, its comedy court? yeah quite funny. It's some malaysian comedy. Hillarious. Took some breather and went back to my room and started work. Checked facebook and he informed me he reached and got online ; webcam for a bit.

Guess thats pretty much how it goes today. Nye, not bad. Quite a long post after all.
Nights people!

I guess it'll be less of a chance to update myself here as you can see, i blog only once in awhile..
Nevertheless, I'd like to update once in awhile but theres no promise whatever i said will be the same the next time I post. In other words, I'm trying to say things change, it changes as we grow and its time generally.. As most of you might assume or perhaps its true, I'm quite emotional. Sometimes to the extend where its too much, I can't even stand them myself.

3 weeks ago, I decided to return to brunei and catch up with a few of my friends. Didn't get to catch up with most of them. One, I don't drive and as many of you know.. Brunei with no driving license is .. i'll put it in the term "I deserve it". Lol..

I'm 19 and im still not driving .. Even so, I enjoyed my trip back then. Though i might be a little too much in considering i regretted the trip as my parents did play some part in making me think so as well. It felt as if, my return was nothing. I was emo then.

On the other hand, things spiced up. Thanks to those that filled up my time. I began to adapt the environment and the lifestyle. Though towards the end of my trip, I heard sayings and once again its brunei .. judgments and assumptions tend to occur. The only thing I dislike is when it's not true. If its true, though i would deny at least there's some sense of guilt but most likely I would admit. There's nothing else for me to deny, as this is life.. If you have the guts to do what you did, you should have the guts to face whatever consequences whether or not the truth hurts.

The reason why I dislike the sayings is there's nothing for me to admit, as I know no shit about how it got up to the idea of how people thoughts are.. and I find it useless to even bother finding out who started the bullshit. Experiences made me choose this decision as I've had it before though it'll be awhile after someone or everyone found out the truth, so what.. its people's mouth, there's nothing we can do or be upset for. There's a lot more important things to do than being stuck in a moment.

As you've guessed, yes. I'm back. Back to Melbourne. To be honest, I'm still not quite used to it and I have to admit I miss brunei, I miss my friends, especially the friends back this trip. Thanks guys. I'll pass my time living my life with studies and social life. My results weren't too good I have to highlight this, its quite disappointing especially the ones that I spent days and weeks whole heartedly and end up with such a mark. I guess its trying to tell me, its haven't done enough and the amount of faith and confidence towards myself should never be taken for granted as nothing's ever enough. It goes on..

Labels: Brunei

HEY HEY. yes It's been a while. First I really can't be bothered to update really, lazy and I've facebook this time so there's really not a need to post emo stuff like I always do =D Secondly, its been pretty tight for me these few weeks and recently just packed everything together, still has some left to do though but as for now, I don't give a shit. I finished the major one, and I guess I'm giving myself a break? Very sien do continous work lo. Heading to the bar later with some friends, and chill for sure before I hit the date line the following week. Heh.

Here. I'll post up my movie poster I did for my project and two notepad cover on certain image we're asked to work on. The rest, don't really look too wow so I won't post them, damn embarassing la haha. Anyways yeah here goes!

I've no idea what am I up to these days. Easter holiday was fulfilling though especially with the boyfriend's presence. Although this time we didn't shop much, I guess all I needed was companion, the fact that we don't see each other that often, somehow brought us closer. On the other hand, my thoughts were never at rest. For what I've been through and everything else living out here, facing this world all on my own, expands my view towards each and everyone out there. I ain't got no issue with anyone, as its pointless plus I've better things to do here then to cry over anyone. Recently, I've been clubbing and drinking too much and thus I'm not only broke, I get sick of the smell of the drinks. I've made myself stop drinking alcohol too much, coffee as well and now picking up on tea. Eating a lot, fried foods, pastas, sweet beverages, ewww.

I know, i did say I will stop drinking. Not on Marvin's birthday though. He's celebrating his birthday @Chorus this coming friday and I'm pretty much looking forward to it. You know, I think I'm sort of running out of words, not too sure why or perhaps I'm just tired. My eyes are definitely tired as my lenses are about to pop out. Lolz. Sorry for the short and ends just here kinda blog. I'll blog better soon. I'm either gonna continue poker, or just get going with my workshop projects. Tomorrow, I'm out for pictures and get work started! Monday blues :(

Its weird but I'm actually feeling all lost and insane yesterday where I could just pour my anger on anyone, that harsh. But then again, I did had an enjoyable time last week, guess this compensates everything this week cept twice as much. I can't exactly say I hate, but dislike would be more appropriate. I dislike this week especially today. Went for morning class late, but we're working in the labs anyway. Went and had consultation with the lecturer regarding the projects. Whilst that, i saw the others workin on theirs and I look at myself.. can I catch up, where or when did I slack? I just couldn't think properly. After lab session we had this slide show presentation, for the next project. My eyes couldn't hold any longer and I was literally running into lala land.

Good thing I made the right choice to go back home and had my long nap. Just so I could feel better mentally itself at least. Woke up fine, though I wished I could sleep more. My runaway.

I'm currently not dealing with any other issues just this workload itself drove me to the walls. I'm leaving melbourne to adelaide this coming 7th, but I'm not looking too forward for it. I don't know, but there's just to many things that made me wanna stay or rest. I will still eventually end up being there as he's my boyfriend and he do wish to see me.

you guys should totally watch this. The storyline's fabulous. My day didnt start off good yesterday. I did a post all about how i felt and deleted it for I was only expressing as I've no one to express to and I cant be bothered to start off my work. Its not due tomorrow or the day after anyway though its due next week but I'll have time :) and so, I went out about 3pm, hung around in the city and had my self latte. Sitting down there, in deep thoughts of wherever I am and what's been goin on. It felt as if I'm tearing myself apart. This feeling itself made me realize I won't be safe, ever. I'm sorry to say, not even in your arms.

I remembered I said, I'll go shop, shopping just carries away the thought of being away from the comfort zone. Texted Mich as it was Chad's VIP night last night. Bought myself a NineWest bag and Novo flats. Yeah, you might wonder, why only two? Well its enough. One thing i realized about myself is, I get the things I really want now, rather than, "oh thats nice, do you think i should get it?" I don't know, I seem to analyze myself and how I've changed mentally. It's this stage where you accept the impossible, disappointments, anything that's negative.

Ohwell. enough said. As I've mentioned, I had a day shopping. It does make me think away from the sorrows thats been swimming in me. I'm not sure what else could make me feel better but till now, its not that bad, I can. I can walk away, runaway without anyone holding me back. So, its not that bad after all. I won't ask for more but hopefully time could bring me more smiles, the ones I used to have back in 242524145 years.

omg im SO boredd! even if I have this frustrating color moodboard projects, well its not as interesting or colorful as it sounds, its annoying therefore I'm not motivated. But I have to, its due next week wth, the brief was just given on tuesday. only have one week to do research and everything else. How I wished the tasks were not split and has an actual due date for the whole project, I would very much prefer that. Ughh. Why cant it be computerized, designed on softwares or something close to that? I'm not good in crafts. Anyway, this is what I'm doing now, having my "time off" those colors that nearly made me blind. Lol

Click

Yes its one of xiaxue's videos that I came across just now.
Wow, I'm lucky I don't have to wax my leg.
What? It's not that visible what. so Thank god. hahaha

& with just a can of beer she's high, oOo so what does a girl normally drink during happy hours then? curiouss.